Self-love, the beginning to healing
By Rachel Tice, LMT, 200-RYT, Curandera
Self-love is one of the first places healing can begin because it changes the relationship we have with ourselves. It is easy to think of self-love as simply doing something enjoyable, taking a bubble bath, taking a day off, or practicing self-care when life becomes overwhelming. Those things, although meaningful, differ from holistic self-love as it asks us to go deeper. Holistic Self-care invites us to recognize our needs not just on a physical level, but to truly listen to our bodies, become more compassionate towards our emotions, our personal boundaries, our personal morals and ethics, the versions of ourselves that were unheard, unseen, undervalued, or walked all over, and acknowledge the different versions of ourselves that helped us survive, grow, and become who we are today. Healing does not always begin with trying to change something that is “wrong” with us. Sometimes it begins with learning how to meet ourselves, and potentially past versions of ourselves, with kindness, honesty, love, grace, and enough patience to understand what we have been carrying.
Our bodies are one of the first places we can begin practicing this kind of care. Stress, overwork, grief, responsibility, and emotional strain can affect how we breathe, move, rest, and hold tension. Many people become so accustomed to pushing through discomfort due to hustle culture and the societal demands that they stop recognizing when their body is asking for something different. Self-love can look like resting before exhaustion forces us to stop, getting regular massage or bodywork, practicing yoga often, stretching, taking a walk, eating in a way that feels nourishing, meditating, spending time outside, or simply taking a few quiet minutes to notice what is happening within us. The intention is not to analyze or judge every sensation, or to assume that every physical experience has an emotional cause, as it may not. It is about developing a more respectful relationship with the body rather than treating it as something that must constantly perform regardless of what it needs.
Self-love also has a heart-centered aspect that involves returning to earlier versions of ourselves with compassion. Everyone carries memories of who we once were, different versions of ourselves: the child who wanted to feel safe and cared for, the teenager trying to understand where they belonged or who they are in this life, the younger adult making decisions with the knowledge they had at the time and how to navigate this world, or the version of ourselves that experienced loss, rejection, disappointment, or change. Healing these inner parts does not mean pretending difficult experiences never happened. It can mean acknowledging them without judging ourselves through today's perspective, accepting what happened, and honoring those parts of ourselves as we move forward as a healthier version of ourselves. Sometimes we can offer an earlier version of ourselves something very simple: understanding, reassurance, forgiveness, protection, or permission to be seen. Asking ourselves, “What did this part of me need then, and what can I offer myself now?” can become a meaningful form of self-reflection and self-love.
Reconnecting with those parts of ourselves does not always have to involve difficult emotional work. Sometimes healing happens when we intentionally return to joy. We can pick up the games we used to love, draw or make art simply because we enjoy creating, listen to the music that once made us dance around the room, return to an old hobby, spend time in nature, garden, sit beside the water, watch the clouds, or allow ourselves to be playful without needing to justify it. As adults, we often begin measuring activities by whether they are useful, productive, or profitable. We can forget that pleasure, creativity, curiosity, and play are also meaningful parts of being human. Returning to something we once loved can remind us that parts of ourselves existed before certain responsibilities, expectations, or painful experiences became so dominant. Self-love can include making room for those parts to have a voice again.
For many people, self-love is rooted in faith, spirituality, or cultural traditions that build a deeper sense of connection. This can look like mainstream practices—such as prayer, meditation, and journaling—or simply spending quiet time in nature.
In the Mesoamerican healing tradition of Curanderismo, reconnecting with yourself often involves intentional prayer, working with herbs, and spiritual cleansings (limpias). A simple, everyday version of this might mean making a cup of herbal tea, setting an intention, passing a plant around your body for a personal cleansing, and then journaling about what you are ready to let go of.
These practices are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health care, and they will not appeal to everyone. Their real value is just the intention behind them: taking a moment to notice where you are, honoring what you have been through, and making space for a healthier relationship with yourself. If spiritual practices do not feel right for you, you can find that same sense of grounding through art, music, community, or quiet reflection.
Self-love isn’t about becoming self-centered or making excuses for everything we do. In fact, it actually makes us more honest. When we stop using shame to force ourselves to change, it gets much easier to see where we need boundaries, where our old habits are failing us, or where we are just plain exhausted. We can make better choices without beating ourselves up in the process.
That is why self-love is usually where real healing starts. Before we can truly care for ourselves, we have to believe we are actually worth the effort.
That healing can look like anything: booking a massage, having a tough but honest conversation, praying, receiving a limpia, or journaling. It could be dancing in your kitchen, picking up a sketchbook for the first time in years, sitting under a tree, or just stopping to ask yourself: What part of me needs love right now?
Wherever you are on that journey, you don't have to figure it out alone. At Sacred Transcendence, we offer holistic wellness services, classes, workshops, and traditional healing practices designed to help you slow down, reconnect with your body, and build a deeper relationship with your whole self.
